tiny rant

by essayan hart

i am staring at nothing.
thinking about the cigarettes i didnt smoke today
my mouth tastes of lavender and you are not here
this is probably good, but i am obsessed with our unravelling, this thing we are growing, and when you are not around i hollow out molecules, reading our fortune.
what i am trying to say is
i do not know how to be in love
so i am swimming in my own skin
trying to collect the scripts i dropped
the first time you looked at me like that
at the very least
i could rewrite them, pretend that i knew
whatever is happening, henceforth…etc.