poison, part 2

by essayan hart

i will sing love songs, until you come out of hiding
every day of your withdrawing is a day of delirious hunger
i can not eat, it will not satiate me

you sleep now, with one eye on your lovers back
and i sleep, with one ear to your lovers words
each unkindness is a small taste
a bit of poison for my silence
bitterness in my letting go

my hands open to release you, because you are a dove
peace requires that you move freely
your lover is a thief, and tethers you like a falcon

i can forgive her
because she is imperfect
and i am a shattered thing, captivated by imperfections
but why love, are you not mending your own wing?
why do you crowd your mind with her confusion
as if it were your own

we have singularity, you and i
i am your wife and yet in you i marry only ayin
the space where you might collect yourself
this is devotion

you see me these days
biting my tongue
you wonder if i am biding my time
but in this world, i am ready always to love another
to take the scared prey to my breast

i open my hand to release you, because you are a dove
this world requires your freedom
when you soar i become endless, my heart a gift to the holy realms
i am blessed in your joy

being of selfish heart
i can not make peace with your struggles
with your slow dance of contraction
i want to see you born again
in or out of love
i want to shake your lovers hand
when she finally turns her eye softly to the sky

only there will i love her
standing courtside
to your great affair with life

but you sleep now, with one eye on her back
and i sleep, with one ear to her words
each unkindness is a small taste
a bit of poison
a bitterness in my letting go

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